No Soliciting!

So today for the first time since I've been in California somebody apologized for slamming the door on me. To be honest though, he was actually one of the nicer fellas I've encountered. A lot of the houses here have "no soliciting" signs on them. Let me tell you a thing or two about them signs! They come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Some are super small and placed right above the doorbell while others are on the door itself and match its size. How do I deal with a sign as a solicitor? Well, if I've already walked all the way up to the door before noticing the sign I usually knock anyway and decide to deal with whatever is on the other side. And yes, when I say "whatever is on the other side" I'm implying "it" is not human.

I had this one guy about a week ago come out of his house and say, "Hey, didn't you see the sign!?" To this I simply replied, "Yes sir, I did but at that point it was too late. I had already knocked on your door. Two options ran through my head! Option A: run like a coward and take on a new lifestyle as a doorbell ditcher or Option B: take courage and stand my ground like a man! As you can see by me still standing here, I chose the latter option." He made a strange face as he fought a smile appearing on his face and then it came... SLAM! (but it was more of a gentle slam) There was somebody else in that same week who had a HUGE sign but I totally missed it. He did the whole, "did you see the sign?" deal and I began to lecture him about what a proper no soliciting sign really looks like. "Sir, if you really wanted me not to be here you should have chosen an angrier looking sign. Look at the sign you have out here! For goodness sake, it's embroidered! I thought it was a 'God Bless This Home' sign until you pointed it out to me. Well, since we're past that can I interest you in some pest control?" Another epic slam.

There was this house which in hindsight I wish I had knocked on just so I could give those folks a piece of my mind. They had a no soliciting sign, of course. Right next to that, was a "in case of emergency please save my jack russell terrier". I suddenly painted a scenario in my mind of this large house engulfed in flames and this poor little dog barking its little, blackened lungs out. I stood there on the sidewalk laughing at its pain and then I realized that the owner was also in the house! So I heroically broke down the door and emerged a minute later covered in ash carrying this dog to safety. The end. The folks never made it but at least the dog was safe.

I feel like I've learned a lot about people as I've gone door-to-door. I thought I'd do a good deed today while I was knocking. Today was a rainy day. Not that pouring rain but the kind that is a bare drizzle. As in, I could carry a paper with me and when I got to the end of the street it was damp but I appeared to still be dry. You with me, ok!? Anyway, I noticed a suburban (Yukon XL) in someone's driveway with the back windows both halfway down. I went up to the door and knocked. A man answered in his 50's wearing a big, burly moustache on his face. The first thing out of my mouth was, "Sir, I am in no way trying to sell you anything today. I'm here to inform you that it's raining outside and your car windows are down. You might want to consider rolling them up." What did he say back to me? " I already have a pest control service." Wow, did he even listen to a word I said!?!?!? What does his response teach me? It means that the second he saw me he shut down his brain to listening to anything I had to say with a preconditioned response waiting for when I finished. It's scary, because he's not alone in that reaction. I think all of us do that to an extent. Why are some people intolerable to argue with? I think it's because they don't listen at all and just wait to say what they have to say. I think all of us need to do a better job at listening.

About Me

My name is Matt but most people call me by my last name Butters. I was born in New York City in March of 1988. Oh yeah, and it’s probably important to note that I’m a twin. My wombmate, Sarah, is in fact a girl. While we’re on the issue let me just address to the public that we are not identical. In fact, it’s impossible for any set of twins of different sexes to be identical. I am absolutely amazed at the amount of people who, after finding out I have a twin sister, ask me, “Oh wow, are you identical?” This query comes from the old, young, and seemingly educated. In my younger days I would respond with an overly-long, scientific explanation of how there are two separate eggs and blah blah blah… Now I just say to the offender, “Yes, my sister and I both have a vagina.” I have found that the latter explanation works just as well and saves me loads of time.

Before preschool began for me my folks moved our tiny family of four to the town of Sommerset, NJ where my sister Katie and brother Michael were born. In that little town I experienced chicken pox and became aware of a hairstyle known as the “rat-tail”. Everyday there was a time when all the kids in preschool would sit on a giant mat together. What we ever did on that mat, I have no idea. Our teacher probably read to us but apparently if she did I never really payed attention. I was too focused on something else! The same boy would sit in front of me every single day and I would just STARE at the back of his head completely mesmerized by this thin tuft of hair he had shooting down his neck. I mean, girls had ponytails right? Not boys. But this “thing” was neither a ponytail nor was it the clean-cut, part-in-the-hair, mama’s boy look that I and many of my classmates shared. In my older years I am well played into the stereotype that people who sport a rat-tail have either 1) lost a bet or 2) decided to sell their soul to the devil.

My family moved again within NJ to a place which would become my childhood. Summit! I honestly don't know if there was a better place I could have grown up. Summit is one of those well-to-do communities where most everyones' parents work in the city and bring the income back home to the suburbs. For the most part, I don't feel like the kids I went to school with were all that spoiled. If anything I'd say we were all fairly independent. I had a lot of fun with school and I viewed high school as another place to socialize so I really liked going to school. After high school I went off to BYU (I'm LDS) and finished up my freshman year. Then I took a two year break to serve a mission in Australia for my church. It was a blast and I'm sure I'll refer to it a lot in this blog. I got back about a year ago and I just finished up my sophomore year. I've got lots to say about it too.

As for now I'm in Southern California selling Pest Control for who knows how long.

Why am I blogging?

A recent employ I attained (door-to-door sales) inspired me to start writing about things I see. I was finding that throughout the day I was making observation after observation with nobody to tell them to. Even worse, I would get home and rack my brain super hard trying to remember all my interesting moments of the day. To stop this from happening I began to carry a piece of paper around with me and jotting down stories or ideas and let me tell you - when you're knocking on peoples' doors all day you have a lot of thinking time.

Anyway, I was going through my little pieces of paper today and I realized that I should probably begin writing a blog. It's nice to think that somebody else might look at something I've written and say, "oh yeah, that's a good point." I'd just hate to have a real Einstein moment and have no one to tell it to. So that, my friends, is why I'm blogging. Expect to hear all sorts of things from me.